Ooh, thanks, I think that's what this fic needs most of all--being run through with a fine-toothed comb--and you did pick out two of the places where I ended up taking shortcuts with the phrasing.
I think after giving it another look, I think a sequel will give me the room to fully develop the character dynamic to the point where I wanted it to go. Though I'm still considering the idea of putting in the additional scene that we discussed.
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Ooh, thanks, I think that's what this fic needs most of all--being run through with a fine-toothed comb--and you did pick out two of the places where I ended up taking shortcuts with the phrasing.
I think after giving it another look, I think a sequel will give me the room to fully develop the character dynamic to the point where I wanted it to go. Though I'm still considering the idea of putting in the additional scene that we discussed.
<3
-kakari